As the last month of 2016 approaches, I have re-surfaced onto the great things God has given me, and the small miracles I can not thank him enough for. Stephanie has become one of the greatest people I have met, and one of the only people I knew wouldn’t be anything but that. It scared me at first, because I know when people will end up being a significant part in my puzzle of life, and life itself has a funny way of loosing that piece sometimes and then you are only left with the memories of the past. However, isn’t that the beauty of life? To simply live along the small moments that you can never get back physically but trigger them to live on in your mind. It’s worth more than any amount of money in the world. I laughed till my stomach hurt today, and my head was throbbing from smiling too hard. I had not felt that in a while. It felt really good. Suddenly, I remembered all the reasons why we fight for the things that make us happy. Why, I can look past the negatives and go straight to the positive aspects of past experiences and it is because it made us feel good. It made us feel like we are meant to exist for something bigger than ourselves, because we are. We are love, because we were made from love. Therefore, we cannot be anything other than that. That does not mean we are immune to hurt, pain, and anguish, but it means we have the ability to love and treat others the way we treat ourselves. With love. The way we have to fight for ourselves even when we are broken inside and out. It is all in the name of love. It is how we decide to use that brokenness however, that then alters everyone and everything around us. I have decided to embrace the broken in me, and love until the scars left on me are no longer visible, but still a reminder of how only time and God heal deep wounds.
Loving can hurt. It hurts us. But loving can also heal. It is the only thing we take with us when we are gone. It is what makes us feel alive, and what we need to grow into the people we are meant to be. It mends our souls when we cannot make sense of the world and the people living in it. The people we love will forever be in our hearts, till we die, and that is all that we must be content with at times. I have not experienced much with love, but I think the deepest love I have never realized I have felt, is the one with my friends. It is pure, it heals, and it mends us. It is unconditional, and safe. Just like love should be. It should not be brutal, and painful. You love and love and hurt and it is okay. As my wise friend Kevin once told me, “I cannot promise it will be okay, but I can promise you, you will be okay.”