Hold. On. Pain. Ends
“Life can be delicately sweet, but it can also be a evil little devil. Life is a bitch.” -H.C
Hope is not something that comes naturally, of my sense in reasoning hope is something that is created, and then practiced over time. I have experienced various precious moments in my life, that have given me the amount of hope I carry every where and for every person I meet. One of my fondest memories is getting into the high school that I always wanted to go to. We sent letters upon letters and each one would get rejected, because I wasn’t in their district, so I was not eligible to attend. I remember praying so many nights, with my mom, for them to change their mind and let me in. I didn’t have any idea of how things were going to work out, nor did I question how many times I had to pray until it came true. I just kept going, without hesitation because I had this gut “feeling” you could say that had the tiniest belief I could actually get in. That tiny little speck is hope. At, least that is how I would define it, but before I even took another step forward, I got a letter in the mail to attend a meeting with the counselor that would decide if I could move into the la verne district, and I was so nervous. I told her my story, and after paper work and signatures I was finally given the yes of approval. I can’t make out what I was wearing or what I did the rest of that day but I remember that exact moment I walked out of that building. I can still feel the smile I had on my face, and how fast my heart was beating, because at that instant I was flying on cloud 9, and I didn’t know how to express myself. I was denied three times, and coming into my possibly fourth denial with a “yes” instead blew my mind.
That was the pinnacle of my learning for the meaning of hope in my life. Hope is the force that drives us to do the impossible, and to reach heights we can imagine any body climbing but ourselves. I feel like that experience taught me to not be afraid of denial, and to embrace the meaning of the many “no’s” in my life too. We are so scared to be rejected, because it hurts, a lot. However, after we stand back and look at the bigger picture, we can see that the rejections that we have the honor of receiving in this world are so beautiful. They bring us pain. Yes they really do. But, they also bring us to create hope in ourselves, it plants a seed in our hearts from the very first time we are denied of something, whether it be big or small. It plants it’s fruit of hope, that readily leads to faith. It is once we have even the smallest conviction that what we hope for can happen, that faith begins to spread its wings and we can start to believe in something bigger than ourselves. Hope is knowing that there is light within the darkness, because we are still alive and we can do something about it.
“If you had faith like a mustard seed, you would say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and be planted in the sea’; and it would obey you.