“What is now proved, was once only imagined.” -William Blake
I have to write a ten page paper on William Blake in less than 48 hours, but that is just life at the moment. I haven’t slept in three hours but what’s new?
In this world, we have a purpose for everything, but people in our lives can also give us that purpose. Actually, people to me are the main reason I live, because I live to meet and love people. It is the bases of our existence, it is what we should look forward to every day. To say “I love you” at least once a day to someone, in person or in a call. Finding a purpose in things can be easy, but it can also be messy. There are so many influences in my life that derail me from my true purpose, which is to love and forgive just like God. Ultimately, life is about finding balance, in what we should do and what we actually do. I am trying to find that balance every day. I feel like I love too hard at times, and when people tell me that I do I don’t get offended anymore because to me it is the best compliment someone can give to me. I love hard, that is me. But, I love hard for the people who teach me lessons, for the people who for a second, or a minute, or a lifetime hold my hand and give me purpose. A purpose that lead me to think about my choices in life, and how I can improve. A purpose to me, consists of learning who you really are (bullshit aside) from the experience of getting to know yourself. I know now that finding my purpose comes from seeking God first, and placing my faith in him to ease my worries. It is the only way for me. I do think though that not every experience can grant you a true purpose, not unless you make something of it. Knowledge is derived from experience, but it is not real until you make it real. I have realized that it is not where you take things from, but where you take things to that allows you to find a purpose in them. Which in return, comes back to find a purpose for you. All the crazy, horrible, and absurd things that happened this summer and year can haunt me, but I chose to make them a purpose for me to become a better person. To write again and again about the people I have loved, and the many others who I can never truly love.
My favorite definition of “purpose” though, will remain being those instances that enabled me to feel a moment rather than time itself. Ever since I found my purpose, time is evermore flowing with beauty. This year I have felt pain more than once, and as it comes and goes I am left with a million lessons. To never go a day without thanking God, to never take any moments with the people I love for granted, because I will never get the same one back twice, and to help others find their purpose just like me. It is a beautiful feeling.