“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” Albert Einstein
As a part of growing up comes change. It’s something I find difficult to accept, and what I am trying to make a part of who I want to be. A person who accepts things, and people for who they are. I think what makes it difficult is being comfortable in a situation or with a person so much that you know what to expect, and when that expectation is flawed everything falls apart. This is the part where people come in and say, “keep your expectations low, don’t expect anything” and I completely disagree. If we don’t have high expectations how are we supposed to aim high? How do we challenge ourselves to think beyond the mediocre and towards the better?
This is of course applied to different things in our life and not just people. Achieving goals and dreams is not possible without having high expectations. If you never stop having high expectations you don’t get tired of reaching for more, even if you don’t get to where you wanted to, you get to where you are supposed to be. I want to graduate and get a master’s to teach, and that is my mentality upon every assignment I turn in. It allows me to have ambition and strive without giving up.
With people around me I’ve learned that with time sooner or later they’ll be a change. Keeping that in mind, you should have expectations of people, because that’s where we find the joy in life, to create, and to imagine. These expectations will only hurt you when you are having them for the wrong people. When I think of having lunch with a friend I start to think of all the funny things we are going to mention, and the good time that person allows me to have with them. That’s what I expect from that event, and knowing they are a great friend that’s exactly what will happen. When you think this exact same way for someone who isn’t up to that level of your friendship or closeness things work out the opposite and you think it’s your fault. At that point it’s not that your expectations where too high, it’s that your setting expectations for someone who has none for you. Not even a bit. This makes you have low expectations for everyone you are with, even the ones you shouldn’t be including which are the people that love you and always let you have a good time in their presence. It feels horrible to feel let down, trust me I know. It’s the reminder of going through that feeling again that prevents me from setting these expectations. But it will not stop me from living, and knowing who the right people are to believe in.
Expectations though, come hand in hand with change. People change. That’s the truth. It might be a small change, or it might be a large shift that can also affect you, because you care about them. At the moment, I am going through many changes myself that I don’t completely understand but know is for the good, and with that has come into play the change in people around me that I also have to accept. Accepting sounds easy, but it can be an altering process of observation, understating circumstances, and ultimately love. We love the people we love, because we choose to love them, nobody is forcing us to. Therefore, nobody is forcing us to accept their changes, it is a choice to work with the change and not against it because we will only be hurting ourselves if we don’t. I’ve always liked to change my environment, going to five different schools within the course of my life and more than one district. It’s in my blood. But, I had never experienced feeling the change in people who I love. It’s scary to me, and it’s been a struggle to work past the shock and into agreeable acceptance. People in my life have changed, and it sucks but it’s life. I’m getting there though, one step at a time, and an occasional gym session.
No matter the situation, I keep in mind that while they are changing, I am going through changes of my own which gives me empathy for them. One thing is for sure, I will always love the people they were before, but I will love the people they are becoming even more.