Our friends are a piece of who we are. That’s how it works. Often the people we are the closest to share something about ourselves that we like, that’s why it’s so easy to be with them all the time. It starts to become a hassle when there are a variety of friend groups, and we want to hang with all of them. It’s good to manage time for yourself, and in the process learn how to have individual friendships, so things don’t get messy. Friends are essential to our life, they are what makes everything in itself better. That being said, friends should not put you down. They should always be the people you want to see in the morning, or whenever you aren’t feeling good.
I started the term “Anti-Social-Anti-Shady” as I walked with some friends out of my literature class and they all argued about how shady some of their friends could be, if not all of them. My response to that was simply that not everyone is your friend sometimes, and it’s good to distinguish who are your true friends, and always keep those closest, and share your personal things with those few. There are many people that you may love, but only some are the ones who genuinely care about your well being and seeing you happy. Having a bunch of friends feels great, and it’s what everyone wants, but it’s never ever perfect. It’s never “squad goals” like you see on Instagram all the time. Every friend group has problems, every friend relationship has it’s battles and those can sometimes get in the way. To me each friendship is an individual commitment of loyalty, honesty, trust, and giving and receiving love. Each one should be handled that way, so it can grow and be nurtured into a greater bond. If these components are not prioritized then you can guarantee you will be surrounded by “shady” people, and at some point you don’t notice until something goes wrong or you don’t end up realizing this at all. Fill your life with meaningful relationships. Ones that will teach you how to grow up, how to be a good person, that will leave you with memories you cannot forget in the future. Those friendships are the ones worth while, and the wait. We can find many things wrong with people, but nothing will change if we don’t change ourselves first.
People will always be at your side, but I rather have a few close people, than a million un-authentic people feeding me validation, instead of words of wisdom or advice. No relationship is perfect. Remember that. Be content with who you have in your life, if necessary take out the ones that make is difficult for you to do that, and pray for those who got away because all you could offer them was your friendship. I thank God everyday for the people I have met, the ones that have doubted me, and also the ones that have made me believe why we love in life because they all taught me something new I didn’t know about myself.
Personally, I just want to be alone when things get hectic with everyone, that the term “Anti-Social” feels right, just to avoid the drama. If you haven’t done so lately, take some time to yourself and really ask yourself who are your friends? Right now, list three things about yourself that you love/like, and often it is those qualities that you look for in other people you enjoy being around. Find those common things about yourself that you love in others and I promise you, you will find great people that are not “shady” or “fake” but that make you feel loved no matter what. And if you thought of someone just now that makes you feel that way, keep them.