Before You Love Someone, Know This

“Before you love someone, know that they might not love you back, but they also might love you more than you ever imagined.” -H.C

In life we are presented with people and obstacles that may destroy us, that may take us away from everything we thought we knew and leave us broken. We may question our very notion of living because of this person, we may question ourselves multiple times actually about things that don’t even make sense, because it feels like nothing does. Then there are those people we meet that show us the opposite. The ones that make us feel so secure, so irrevocably alive without making us doubt ourselves about reality, because it is real. They instantly rob us from nothing but for nights of adventure, and long conversations that replay in our heads over and over. We come across these two types of people. The bad, and the good. Somehow we have gotten so used to the bad winning in love time after time that we get used to the evil overpowering the good in anything related to “love.” All of the seamless love stories we tell to others are nothing but our heartbreak stories, and lost souls. The people we once loved are made into these broken pieces of ourselves we tell to others about in an effort to share an experience we had with love. Why does this happen? Isn’t love supposed to be a great feeling? Our heartbreaks change us, they teach us things about ourselves too, but they do not define us, and it is not what love is all about.

We need to break the chain, and it starts with our outlook on what love is. Not what love is not. I can come up with three distinct definitions on the spot about what I think it is, but it is different when we ask “Who do you love?” You can love your family, or your friends, but we all want to know how to love that one person. But why is that one person we love, sometimes the one that hurts us the most? Why does it feel that way in the first place?

First, the right “love”, and “person”, does not exist. We should appreciate things for what they are, and people for what they are too. Things are not going to be perfect, people are not perfect.

Second, the people we love don’t hurt us, we hurt each other. When you get hurt, you are vulnerable. That means that you care, and you can’t love someone without caring about them.

But, we choose to care. We choose to love them no matter what, which will always leave us hurt because nobody is perfect, and we all make more than one mistake when it comes to love. So, when you decide to love someone know that it can be messy, but also know that love is not always broken, hazy, and confusing. Stop thinking that love is overrated. It is not always going to leave you dried up every time, it is not supposed to hurt your heart, it is not an evil bearing monster who hunts you when you let your guard down. Love is good. The one you deserve is kind, gentle, and healing. Love is an old friend you miss, love is a phone call you are waiting for so you can breathe again. Love is colorful, Love is bliss, Love is a blessing. Love is rich without money, poor without comfort, Love is caring for that person even if you feel they have hurt you in more than one way, love is peace, love is loving someone like God loves us. Love is beautiful, Love is deserving of whoever comes its way, but above all love is not a heartbreak.

So before you love someone, just know that love is this. Not always the pain people sing about.

Before you love someone just know that it doesn’t matter whether they are good or bad, because odds are you will fall in love with whoever they are, and whatever they do, even if the whole world objects to your decision. Know that there is always a risk. That you might drown in the waves, that you might get knocked down more than once under the storm, without a lifesaver on. Know that when they love you back they show you by making you a better person, better than you were before you met them, not worse. Know the difference between what love is, and what it is not. Before you love someone, know that things won’t be perfect, but in the end if you love someone, you will find a solution to make things work, and that will be perfect enough.

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