I fell in love this past week, and it wasn’t with anyone, or anything. I fell for a city where I laughed and sung songs in the car with my best friends. I was only in San Francisco for a day, but it felt like an eternity. My adrenaline was pumping as I took in all the different shops the city offered me on every corner. The streets were decked in lights, red, blue, and green mixed into the distance. I saw people hurried around to get to where they needed to be, along with the pieces of conversations from different people, and everything worked in sync. I sat on a grassy plain admiring the city, as I leaned on my best friend’s shoulder looking away at the array of colorful houses trickling down the side of the road.
This is when I finally realized that “love” is having friends that love you, with you no matter what. That love is that sensation I feel when my heart yearns for adventure in a
way that it does not when thinking of finding my soulmate or the “boy of my dreams.” This was much better than a dream. This was real. This is when I thanked myself for being strong, for enduring the brokenness and the pain, for having faith that one day I’d feel happy again. That I’d be happy with myself and the people I have around me, and not dwell on the people that are not coming back.
This wasn’t just a trip to a new city, this is the start of my journey. The start of a new outlook on life that doesn’t involve negativity, or regret. That only involves love, healing, positivity, and acceptance for myself. This is what I want to fall in love with. The city and the lights, not boys, or the idea of finding a boy. I want to fall in love with these places, and the people I pass by that I will never see again. I want to have seen hundreds of different lights from different cities by the time I’m 80. I want to say that I have lived and discovered the inner corners of my heart, and what makes it pump a little louder.
I want to discover every city’s view from above, and every smile that their visuals can give me. I want to have a laugh attack with four of my friends as we roll in the grass and can’t get up. I want to leave a piece of my heart in every city I go to, not every boy I fall in love with. I want to travel till I fall in love with the world. This is my happiness, and I’m glad I have found it now. So don’t give up on finding what makes you happy, because you’ll loose the chance to see what this world is really about.
Trust me, it’s much more than just boys.