In this world we only get two options I believe, when it comes to love. Forgetting, and forgiving.
One is to forget completely, forget and run away from whoever and what you’ve created in most cases so that you can breathe. So that you can feel like it was too much to handle, when in reality it was the best thing you had but you didn’t know how to appreciate it. You forget so you can find new life, and new love, and new memories. We choose to forget in order to move on, but sometimes what you are also choosing is letting go of who you are. When you choose to forget, you don’t forget slowly you forget long, hard, and painfully. It’s a process that takes years instead of months, and it’s something that we never really do when it comes down to it. We pretend to forget. We pretend everything is okay, and everything is inevitably forgotten but there will be those days when you remember. That day is either the worst or best day, but either way it reminds you that you haven’t forgotten because it’s hard to forget someone you loved.
The other option is forgiving, and to forgive means letting the good over power the bad. Forgiveness is an ongoing process of cleaning your soul with less malice and more hope each and every day. It is knowing and constantly learning that you are much better than the greed, the envy, the violence, and anything else that interferes with anger. You need to learn how to forgive before you learn how to love.
That in that process of total forgiveness you make sure to understand that you are not letting them win, nor are you admitting defeat. Nobody wins, nobody looses, because love is not a competition. Nor is it a game to see whether the odds are in your favor, and if someone sees it that way then they are not ready for you. They are not ready to see your light and what you have to offer.
Forgiveness is a quality we forget to practice. It is an ingredient to living a life of less wounds and more life. It is the greatest and only gift we could give to someone else and ourselves at the same time without paying a price.
To me, forgiveness isn’t forgetting, real forgiveness is when you no longer hate them when you do remember. It is when you feel their distance as a reminder that you will always love someone in this world for more reasons than you don’t, and that in all should be enough for both of you. Don’t forget without forgiving yourself. So forgive and forget if you can, the people who hurt you. The ones who stopped talking to you for no good reason, take them out of your life but never forget what they brought to you that changed you into what you were already destined to become.
Forgiveness isn’t easier than forgetting, but it’s a lot less heavier.