You are beautiful. You’re more than beautiful. You’re pretty. Once in a while people tell us these things out of the blue and in that moment we believe it for a fraction of a sec. We believe in the word “beautiful” and we believe that we embody it, for just a second. Maybe .05 seconds. Then it leaves. It leaves all together and we’re back to thinking about ourselves in hateful ways we shouldn’t. Back to feeling normal, and human. Except there’s nothing dull about being human. There are more extraordinary things about being human, than anyone thinks. Yet one word, seems to crumble that ideal completely. When that word isn’t met to it’s standards or we don’t think we “meet” the standards for beautiful, we break. Why? Why do we think it’s important to always feel like that? I don’t at times, and I’m okay.
So yeah, you are beautiful, but what about the ugly parts? What about the parts you’re afraid to show someone? The parts that make you self conscious, the parts that you carry of someone else who you lost. What about those chaotic, and messy puzzle pieces?
Why do we hide them from ourselves? We hide these traits, these flaws, but in fact we need them to believe in the word beautiful. We need these to be constantly aware of our insecurities, so they don’t haunt us, but empower us. So we can harvest the power of acceptance through them to indulge into our more organic, and authentic selves. You need to not be afraid to conquer those demons. To discover them over and over again, because once you have defeated one, there will be another. Then another. Like a chain of memories, or a wall behind a wall. It never ends, or it might feel like it doesn’t but that is where you discover who you really are. Not the person who taught you that song that’s now your favorite. Not the one person that showed you the books that have shaped your ideas. The person who was here before every one, the goofy, heart warming, and great person who accepts people as they come. You.
Go beyond you. Beyond the layers of past grievances, of past losses, of past influences. Once you are there you begin to accept that people do make up most of your character. Bad or good. People can have detrimental effects on our development, they can either influence you for the better, or the worse. So in reality, we are pieces of the people we have came across at some point.
When was the last time you thought about something that someone didn’t tell you, or something you actually like that isn’t something they rubbed off on you. List those things that you genuinely like, or answer these questions,
1.) What makes you happy?
2.) What makes someone beautiful to you? (Something they do, something they say, way they think?)
3.) What makes you cry?
4.) What do you want to do before you die?
5. When is the last time you felt vulnerable?
6.) Who has had the biggest impact in your life?
7.) What is something someone has told you, that stayed in your mind? Why
These questions are short and to the point, but they do their job of being Self-aware. They do the job of renewing your thinking about yourself. Thinking about the small questions people forget, the ones that actually matter for our health, and emotional stability. When we think, we grow, and if we can learn how to be intuitive with our emotions, life would be easier to understand, because we must understand ourselves internally first rather than avoiding it, in order to be at peace with others. FEELING feelings is OKAY.
How can we even love, or give ourselves to someone else when we haven’t given our full selves to our selves? When we can’t call our selves beautiful, how is someone else supposed to?