Someone once taught me that we become happy when we begin to start caring less about who and what. When you don’t care what people say or think about you. I never knew how beautiful that trait looks on somebody. Now it has become my only definition of beauty. Seeing someone do, feel, and say what they want without bias is truly beautiful in my eyes. Ironically, the beauty we tend to notice in others is what we lack or could improve on ourselves. That’s why I try to wear this in my mentality all the time. This is the strategy to re-newing your happiness.
Stop caring about what others think of you, because you’ll never really know.
When we let go of who cares, who is in our past, and who controls our happiness we feel an unprecedented surge of happiness, one that no one can describe to us. Happiness can be someone in our lives, happiness can be a moment in our lives we treasure forever even if we’ve left it behind us. Happiness can be a lot of objects, memories, or people, but one thing we leave out is ourselves. Happiness is often ourselves in our past, our future, and our present. Happiness can be the people we’ve loved, the mistakes we’ve made, the things we’ve done, if we realize they only made us better than we used to be. When we accept things as they are, not how they COULD be. When we stop blaming our decisions, other people, and just move on from pain. Move on slowly, from the toxic, and into the new. That’s when happiness is re-newed. We can re new our happiness, I can re-new my happiness. It is all a process.
As a reminder: Having loved someone takes time to forget. Loving someone isn’t easy to let go of. What I learned recently is that not everyone we meet, we love. There are people in this world who are happily married to someone but will always be in love with another person they cannot be with. They let go, and they convince themselves that maybe they never loved them because they’re with someone else. That’s the thing with love, you can’t un do what you felt, you can’t give back what you gave. It stays forever, and the more convincing you do as time goes on it only proves to you that some people are just too beautiful to forget in this life. That is perfectly okay. That’s just the way life is meant to be. We meet some, we keep some, and we loose some. Though, there is always that ‘one’ person we keep in our hearts forever.
You may ask yourself why?
I still don’t understand why that is, what is that one thing that keeps us from letting go, but maybe one day I’ll know. That’s why love is hard to come by, but equally hard to let go. It is halfway to heaven and hell, and yet it is what each one of us desires to find. That is why it is priceless, why it is okay to love someone even if they don’t love you back.
For there are people in this world who have never been “in love” and others who claim to have only been in it once, and that’s all they get. Finding someone and saying you love them is rare. Saying that you genuinely care about someone is a true gift. Loving someone, anyone is in itself a gift. Whether they loved you or didn’t, it doesn’t matter at that point, because you did. You felt something people don’t feel for everyone they meet; for anyone they meet. You were given that chance, others don’t usually get.
So yes, love is hard to understand. Why we can’t be happy with or without love all the time, is hard to understand. It’s why I have a blog set up about how I deal with the process of dating, relationships, and heart break. It makes it easier for me to admit things to myself, and gradually come to terms with how I really feel about it. We all have people in our life that we miss, or were toxic for us, However, can you be happy without them? Yes. Can you gradually re-new your happiness? Yes AND YES. You can, you really can. It takes time, and then after that it takes more time, but it is possible. Besides time, it takes a good friend you can talk to. All you need is one, and spending time by yourself to get to know who you truly are.
Recently I met someone, and they have brought a piece of my happy back. I haven’t written about him but all I know is that’s a good sign that I have too many lovely words to write. However, with it has come memories of my past, and more about my past happiness rather than my present happiness. I am trying to focus my energy on thinking in the present moment.
What do you need to be happy? What is making you happy right now? Those are things you need to fight for, until you see the light of a new day.