This is my advice to you.
Write a letter to that person that popped in your head right now. Whether it be someone who made you feel loved, or someone you couldn't really be with for whatever reason, then keep it. Keep it with you if you cannot send it, and read it over and over again, because that is the beauty of living in this world. The beauty of loss, and the eternal love that it can leave behind with its victims. Everyone is a murderer when it comes to love, we either kill someone's hopes, or become victims of someone else's heartbreak, but it should all end the same in that– we learn to love others even more, and we learn that loss brings us closer to the people that never left our side from the start.
This week has been filled with highs and lows, mostly because I miss my best friend, and because day by day I am seeing that God speaks to me in indescribable ways when I pray and listen to him. I realized I write a lot about heartbreak, and I have written heart breaking letters to people I have let go in my life on here, but I am now going to publish a series of letters to the people who God has placed in my life, and who are the ones who have given me tears of Joy and not heartbreak or sadness. This series of letters are dedicated to the people in my beautiful life who I cannot in no way of words, poems, or blogs, describe how they make me feel when I am with them. How I feel completely accepted with my flaws, my insecurities and just feeling like there is no weight on my shoulders. As if I could do anything, and tell them anything without worrying about getting hurt. That is genuine care. I realized there are people alive on this earth that God gave me that make me feel LOVED without a reason to. They are the ones I think about when I feel that I cannot be loved. When I get thoughts in my head that I am difficult to love, or that there is something wrong with me, I think about these rare people. The friends that remind me I shouldn't settle for ANYTHING less than pure love, and affection because they have proven to me time after time that love is limitless, and love is abundant in itself. It doesn't have requirements, and it does not have rules.
because when someone loves you, they will tell you. When someone appreciates you, they will tell you. When someone wants to form a relationship with you, they will do it and do it right from the very beginning, When someone cares about you, they will NOT hurt you to the death of them, when you don't pick up your phone they will visit you to check if you are okay, when someone says they are your friend they WILL be your friend even if they get into a relationship, when someone wants you to be with them, they will make sure nothing gets in their way of having you with them. It is that simple.
There are not many out there who can give you this, and that is why the ones who have proven that all this can actually happen are the true light in my world. The lights that crossed my path, and though I may not see them as much as I'd like to, they are the ones that guide me to my safe place, when I am feeling like I am hard to love. My light is not the people I have left behind, not the people who didn't love me enough to stay, or enough to care about me. I am enough. I am enough for myself, and I am enough for these people which is all that matters to me right now.
So here we go, the middle of May begins with the recognition to these people who have been through my tears of happiness, and continue to stay through my tears of sorrow and pain. I love you guys, for giving me a love I cannot fully give to myself at times.