“We lose ourselves in the things we love, but in them we find ourselves too.”
We loose each other sometimes, only to find each other again. We find each other broken, we find each other sad, we find each other again when we are at our lowest points because God knows we all hurt. We get our hearts broken, we cry so hard our bodies have felt the pain, and at times we can even remember how it felt to be there. To be sullen and sunken into our sorrow, to be detached from reality and the world itself. We all have been there, I have been there myself.
The horrible thing is not many make it through. Not many are alive to say they overcame their battles. Not many are here to testify of their pain, of their deepest wounds, of their most heart-wrenching moments. They may have wanted to make it. They may have wanted to SO badly, but life became like a second chore and just like that they ended it. Just like that, their memories, their goals, ended.
That is why you should be thankful. That is why you should forgive those who have hurt you, those who have left, because everyone has been through a hell. That is why your pain, and all your suffering is nothing compared to the blessing of life God has given to you, because he forgives us endlessly and loves us even more.
I have been in the shallow and deep ends of pain. I haven’t seen it all or know it all to this point in my life but I am certain I have felt enough of everything, to understand that life is about loosing and finding. Loosing everything for something you love. Loosing it all, loosing control, loosing your sanity, loosing friendships, loosing the very thing that you believe keeps you existing, loosing God, loosing your motivation, LOOSING and LOOSING so you appreciate what it finally feels like to find it again. To find the peace you lost while trying to love someone, to find the friend you lost because you worried about petty arguments, to find the energy you need to move through every day, to find that person you let go of a year ago and eat tacos with them only to remember how much you missed eating tacos without them. To find the funny in everything that has happened in the past. To find the determination you left behind trying to please somebody. To find the sanity in being the best you can be for yourself and no one else. You must lose so you can find your way back to the very thing you thought you lost, only to find out you changed for the better along the way and nothing can stand in the way of your growth.
I love that I have found some of the things I lost, and while I know that they are not perfect and that they are not the same as before, it is enough. Who and what I have now is enough. Sometimes we just lose each other, we lose moments, we lose the hope of future moments, we loose the person we thought we’d be with forever and a day, but we get what God thinks is good for us. We loose each other, and many parts of ourselves as we age so greater things fall into place, the things we NEED, not want. God knows the plans for each of us, and if you find yourself lost along this life like I have these past few months know it all goes back to love. We may even end up meeting most of the people we let go of in the past in a different time. Where everything is different, but everything is good. You just have to let life be, and acknowledge that while we loose ourselves in the things we love, in them we often find ourselves too.