Why Kindness Should ALWAYS be Your Only Answer

“We are everyone, and everyone is us,” -Logic (Sir Robert Bryson Hall)

I was listening to Logic’s album this week, as I drove to Brea for work. On my long drives I usually reflect on my life and do a quick re-run of the checklist of things I have to get done in my head. I was thinking about my kindness, and why I put myself down more often than not about being so kind to people. Growing up I considered myself to be the person who wanted to fit in with other girls, and didn’t know how to at first. I remember having trouble with making friends in elementary school with a couple of girls who I wanted to be friends with, and asking my dad for help. He have me a kit-kat bar and said, “Share your food with someone, and they’ll become your friend”

I took that chocolate bar to the playground the next day and approached a group of girls who I talked to during class regularly, but never hung out with. I asked shyly, if they’d like some, and slowly but surely smiles began to form across the three faces in front of me, and they invited me to sit down after accepting my small token of gratitude. After that, I was amazed at how fast they welcomed me. I always look back to that moment here and there and realize that though the chocolate may have been a small thing for me, it made a bigger impact than I ever thought. It brought us together, it tore down walls, it united differences. If only chocolate could do that with the world…I could only dream, (but in many cases it does I think we can all agree with that.)

The thing is when we give, it gives other people the freedom to accept. The only problem is that when others aren’t used to kindness, they refrain. When someone has not been given love, kindness, or gentleness, how does one know how to give it to someone else?  How can one be kind to others, and embody love when they have been broken by others so many times before? These questions make me realize I cannot fully imagine how Jesus went through the betrayal from Judas, Peter, and the world and through all the chaos was still a loving father to us all. It is this that helps to understand why he is perfect in his graciousness, why he is the king of all kings. He serves as an example to me, though I am not perfect like him, he made me perfect in his eyes, and therefore I will try to be the best example I can to please him. That means that in my anger I will pray, in my bitterness I will ask for light in the darkness, in my resentment I will learn that I have forgiven and continue to forgive others because he forgives me every day for a much larger weight. This means that every single one of us is the same, that we go through different stages at different times, but WE GO THROUGH THE SAME feelings and emotions. That is what allows me to be kind, what feeds my reasoning as to why I am so kind and it is not a bad thing. It is because we are all in need of kindness, and if someone asks, “Why are you so nice to them, why don’t you just give them what they deserve? and just like Rupi Kaur from “Milk and Honey” says, I repeat “Because people have not been kind to me.” I believe that is one truly self-less, and self-accomplishing thing I have come to embody.

:To be so kind and gentle, even when people have broken you in ways no one could understand, to be giving, empathetic, and caring when someone you loved once gave you the opposite of those things.” -Hilda Coleman

What I realized this week as I talked to a few close friends is that we are constantly recreating ourselves through the experiences we have with others. That being said, others give us life. As do we to them. Others give us hope. Others give us connection. The connection we cannot give to ourselves at times. Others rely on us, and we rely on others. When we remember a song that ties us to a certain person, does it not feel like they somehow hear it too? It is because we were created to be together not apart. Someone told me recently that being independent means you do not need anyone, and that I am not that because I need people. You could be the MOST independent person on this planet, but you. still. need. people. One way or the other, and that is not a crime, that is a humanly NEED.

So see, we are pieces of others broken parts. Our character and attitudes are made up of moments where we have been hurt because someone else was hurting. We are others’ hurts and pains. We are the times where we saw someone we loved cry in front of us. We are the happiest instances someone else has brought to us by making us laugh, or kissing us. WE ARE EACH OTHER, we are everyone that has ever and will ever live on the earth.                                     So be kind, embody kindness, CHOOSE to be kind, because  we are all just trying to make it through life, we are heartbroken, we are confused, unhappy, and clashed with problems but maybe you can be somebody’s first example of what kindness is. That power is extraordinarily beautiful.           

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