I am writing this letter to you from the comfort of my bed, as I reflect on how happy I was this past weekend. I want that feeling always. I need that feeling to last longer through days, weeks, mornings, and nights. I know now that God is the only one who can make me eternally happy, because whenever I ask him for his blessing onto my life, my friends, and my family, I ask him to let me breathe easier. I ask him to help me see and appreciate what I have that others don’t so I do not dwell on the things I have lost in the past. I have been asking him this constantly, because it is difficult for me to stay sane in this world without knowing that he is by my side. Looking after me. Helping me not be depressed, or anxious about my mental health getting better.
Sometimes when I don’t think about it, I forget how many blessings I truly have. I forget, as we all forget, and take them for granted without even noticing it. In the past couple of months, I am blessed to say that I have so many friends who care about me enough to talk to me in my time of need though. I was aware I had my close friends, but did not realize the other people who are actually reading this right now, and the ones who care about my writing. I won’t be able to ever explain in words, how the tears forming in my eyes as I type drop so rapidly thinking about where I would be, if I even was, without this blog or the readers who leave such nice comments on them.
I definitely believe that the unexpected things in life lead to miracles, and last year when I decided to begin this journey on this blog, I was opening a door that led me to the biggest miracle that changed my life, which is all of you. This blog has given me more love, more hope, more people who feel what I have felt, more people I can feel with, and more acceptance on the hurt, and trials not just I have gone through, but everyone goes through one way or the other. June-July has taught me that we loose more things than we hope to at times, actually ALL the time. Things we don’t expect happen faster than we are able to process them occurring, but life goes on. We loose things, but God replaces them with something twice as good, twice as reassuring, and everlasting.
I fail, we fail, we hurt, I hurt, we all go through these things, for no reason sometimes. We go through people who only came into our lives to leave with no reason as to why.
We cannot understand why things happen in this world, as much as we want to. We cannot. I have given up on trying to. I leave it to God, what is to heavy for me to carry, and keep moving one step at a time. We must be patient, even though it’s harder than is sounds.
Just know that,
We have each other, we need each other now more than any other time.
We will FAIL more times than we win at love, but that’s what makes WINNING at it, and finding the right person, the right job, the right path to take in your future, FEEL SO GOOD. you might just think of all those little bumps in the road as your miracles then, because I KNOW that without mine I wouldn’t be writing this write now. So thank you, for reading and staying updated with my writing if you do. you are one of my miracles.
love you guys, for simply being.
xoxo -to August, may I be overfilled with more tears of JOY just like this weekend, than tears of sorrow.