You Don’t Need Anybody, who Doesn’t Need You

“Learn to be selfish with your love sometimes, what I mean is don’t be selfish towards love, be selfless with it, by loving yourself more than any one else” – H.C

We misinterpret ‘needing’ somebody, and ‘wanting’ somebody in our lives. We do it all the time. You don’t need someone who broke your heart to come back and fix it one day, that’s not going to happen. You don’t need someone who is not with you at this very moment. Think about it. If they cared wouldn’t they be in your life as you read this? If you needed them, wouldn’t that mean they need you too?

You don’t need them. You don’t need anybody to mend what’s been broken or hurt, when you’ve been the one dealing with what they left. When your friends are holding your hand through your pain, not them. You need to understand that hurt and pain is temporary, and it is hard to undergo, but it’s making you the badass you’re gonna be thanking your past for. Trust me. I’ve been there, and as I write this I do look back and realize all that negativity turned me into a bad*** mother ****** ! Who doesn’t let people’s opinions get even an inch close to me. It turned me into someone who doesn’t let men belittle me, or tell me how to dress or use me in whatever way they please. When all those people that I thought I ‘needed’ left, I was the one who needed myself more than anyone else. I needed all the help from God himself, and I needed all of ME.

That’s how I ventured into my self-love. My true love story, of how I met my inner self and loved the person I was for what I was. But that took effort. That took endurance. It took me needing myself in order to want better, for myself.

When you want something you acquire it through stamina, and commitment. When you need something, you depend on it for survival. You strive to satisfy, not to conquer and prosper.

If one person in your life wanted to be in it, they would. If they wanted to call you, you’d be on the phone with them right now. If they wanted something more with you, more than a friendship, they’d be trying to change that. ‘WANT’ they don’t want to, ENOUGH. And for that, I am sorry, I truly am.

But,

If they needed you, you wouldn’t be reading this. When they need something from you, they’ll ask and leave again if you give them that opportunity. They’ll suck you dry. You don’t need someone who doesn’t need you. You don’t need that kind of one way street weight tied to your feet wherever you go. Be free instead, take off that weight and know that you don’t have to put up with it. You don’t, and you shouldn’t. Because you shouldn’t be sad for something YOU can change. You should be happy that you can change it. All you have to do is stop thinking you need him. That you need her.

You ‘want’ her. You ‘want’ him. There is a difference, and if the feelings aren’t reciprocated let go slowly, and don’t come back to it for a while. Let it grow old in your memories, and if it’s meant to be it will be. Take this into consideration: soulmates always end up together anyways, so why look or wait for love?”

You’ll be with someone who not only wants you, but needs you too. Not one or the other, but both. That’s a good relationship. That’s what you need to let find you, not the other way around.

So no babe, you don’t need anyone. And definitely not some ex who isn’t even relevant anymore. You don’t need the past as something you hold on to as safety and comfort. That’s far from the work you’ve put in to wake up, go to work, go to school, pay bills. Hold onto the future, hold onto the happiness you have felt without him or her. Hold onto the moments that feel right. Hold onto your hard nights or studying that took half of your sleep for the next day.

Take all the effort you have put into yourself, and ask yourself if you’d sabotage it All, and I mean all of it for someone who hurt you.

The answer is NO. No thank you. Not today, not in this lifetime, not in another dimension. Your happiness, my happiness is off limits to everyone, that is what I wanted to share with you all: my epiphany that nobody in my past cares about what I do. They could give two shits. Same for you. If they’re not in your life actively they don’t care. I’ll say this again, ‘they don’t care’ they could care less if someone actually needed them or not actually. That’s the kind of people they probably are. (No doubt)

Because if someone WANTS TO be a friend, a lover, a support system, they don’t think twice about how, why, or when. It’s a sad reality that I’ve accepted tonight, and I feel relief knowing the truth I’ve been lying to myself about. I feel like someone reading this may also be in the same spot and if that’s the case, I’m happy I can be of some help with my epiphany.

I leave with you all the two words that are completely different from each other, and the secret to living a happy life and having a happy mentality : need yourself. Need your love and affection. Need YOUR pep talks. Only need the people who need you back, to literally support your back when you’re falling apart (physically and emotionally).

Love you guys so much, I am happy to be alive and still be writing for all you wonderful souls. ❤️️